Johnny Martin: Cougars And Cum Catchers

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Having Her AssJohnny was glad to get out of there.

He’d never had Celeste’s ass before, and it was even more fuckyeah than he would’ve imagined. Like, holy shit, WOW. He’d be jacking off to that shit for a long time. Tighter than he would’ve thought, and the way her body rattled like the shake of a snake when she came.


Her husband was one dumbass fucker. If Johnny was married to Celeste, he would spend all day fucking her, then spend the rest of the day jerking off, thinking about having just fucked her and the six different ways he was gonna fuck her the next time.

Johnny wasn’t stupid. He knew his gig with Celeste was a once in a lifetime thing. When it ended, which it inevitably would, he’d never know anything like it again. Johnny was fine with that. He could never keep up with Celeste, or any woman like Celeste, anyhow. Sure, it was fun to imagine going all day every day with a great looking nymph, with a bottomless need — that shit was great for the memoirs — but Johnny could sorta see her husband’s point.

She was so cock hungry with Johnny, she took everything he had. And he knew there were others. Plus, her husband, who probably couldn’t ever give it up enough to satisfy Celeste, but was probably giving more than she admitted to Johnny, or to herself.

Johnny liked Celeste, a lot. She was a cool girl. Like an older version of Autumn, but hungrier and bossier and sadder. Maybe smarter, Johnny wasn’t sure. He liked both sisters about the same, but both were responsible for one cum-filled cluster fuck of a morning.

Johnny didn’t have any problems with Celeste, he knew the game and was fine with her rules, but he hoped she didn’t have a problem with him. As long as her mouth stayed hungry, Johnny would stay a happy, happy man, willing to work around her schedule. And if her ass was joining the party, well hallelujah, he might just ask Mom to add that shit as a PS on the next family newsletter. But if Celeste was going to ditch him, he wanted to know now. And she hadn’t been herself today. Whether or not it had to do with him, something was on her mind.

Add that to Autumn, and things were getting too weird, too fast.

Johnny turned on the radio, but it was crap so he flipped it to CD, then listened as the Shins started bitching. He kept the disc spinning a minute, then went with a preference for silence. The Shins had been boring him for two weeks, though he had yet to switch CD’s, or get an adapter for his iPod. Molly liked them, but she wasn’t in the car and silence was always better for untangling thoughts.

Molly was a cougar who had a sometimes thing with Johnny, though he usually made excuses not to see her. There was a lot he liked about her, but she was too quiet. He liked his girls loud, not silent, in bed and in conversation, and Molly was near mute in both. Johnny figured it was because she had to talk all day at work.

Johnny rubbed his aching cock and made a right in his midnight blue Element.

Molly the CougarIt was funny, racing over to Celeste’s that morning, Johnny was worried he’d have a problem cumming, and that Celeste might suspect something was up. If she hadn’t shoved her ass in his face and yelled at him to fuck it, he might’ve taken longer, though who knows, he was turned on as fuck anyhow. But once his dick was in her ass, holy shit and a half, it was like a caterpillar into a butterfly.

It didn’t matter if he was sleeping with someone else, Celeste had zero right to care. Johnny could blow a load on a new last name every weeknight and twice on Friday. His score would never equal hers, but it wasn’t the load so much as where it landed, and the last shot to leave Johnny’s station, before the one that slammed into Celeste’s delicious ass just 15 minutes before, had landed squarely at the back of her sister, Autumn’s throat.

It had started a few days earlier with an “urgent” call from Autumn. She had to come over, immediately. Fine. Whatever. She was there 15 minutes later, begging Johnny for a blowjob. He couldn’t believe it. A beautiful girl, not prettier than Celeste, but a little closer to his taste, who he’d jerked off to many times before, but had never had sex with, and whose sister he came into pretty much every day, was begging him to let her suck his dick? 

That shit was crazy nice and all, but Johnny had to decline. You take the nice out of crazy nice and you’ve just got crazy. He had a good thing going with Celeste, and didn’t want to fuck it up. So Johnny said no and Autumn said okay. She asked if Johnny wanted to play cards since she was already there, and Johnny said sure since they always had fun when they played, ever since the first time they were dropping Texas Hold ‘Em, when she was 18 and he’d just turned 17, and she was spending a lot of her free time hanging with his older sister Erin.

They were on their third game of the morning when Autumn told Johnny all about Sam and Celeste’s blowjob lessons and the face. She asked Johnny if he made the face. He laughed and said he had no idea, but that yeah, he probably made it. Three games later Autumn got to talking about how she had been practicing and that, no, that didn’t make her slutty. She was doing it for Sam and wanted to give him a “Celeste Worthy” blowjob. She was ready to see if she could make him make the face and wanted to test it out before her date with Sam.

Then she promised to never tell.

And crossed her heart.

Johnny’s pants were off in seconds. And holyfuckingshit, Celeste gave better head, though not by much, but Johnny had never heard, nor could he imagine, anyone having a more beautifully filthy mouth than Autumn. Johnny loved dirty talk. It was one of the reasons he got off fucking Celeste as much as he did. But Autumn’s mouth was a Pulitzer of filth, and even if Celeste had a better skill set, the shit that flew from Autumn’s panting mouth made him want to fuck it more.

So Autumn spent 23 minutes on her knees, and Johnny made the face.

But he also made a mistake.

When Autumn asked him who was better, her or Celeste, he said, “Well, Celeste has been doing it longer.” Autumn politely thanked him for his time and left, but was knocking on his door this morning, just as he was headed out to meet Celeste — like she knew he had the morning off from school and when he had to leave.

He shouldn’t have let her in.

Of course he said no, even when she whispered, “You did it once, no one will ever know about this one either,” while stroking his bulge. Johnny took a step back and pushed her off like a good boy. Then she said, “I bet if I stick my pinky in my asshole while you cum in my mouth, I’ll cum, too.”

Johnny’s cock was so hard it was throbbing in his ears. Autumn’s knees were on the floor as soon as she said it. Johnny’s hand was on his zipper a second later, and he was putting his dick into her mouth a moment after that.

Autumn sucked his dick like she was on a mission, which he supposed she was, pausing her oral performance only for verbal, every few minutes lifting her head from Johnny’s lap to fill his apartment with a symphony of = vulgarity.

So Autumn spent 14 minutes on persuasion and 19 on her knees. Johnny made the face. But he also made a second mistake.

Johnny may have been smart, but sometimes he was downright stupid. If Autumn had ended the first money shot with “so, who’s better?” after her swallow, what made his dumb ass think the second gulp was gonna get any different.


But, I bet if I stick my pinky in my asshole while you cum in my mouth, I’ll cum, too,  is pretty hard to argue with.

This time Johnny was even stupider, backing himself into a corner while Autumn demanded specifics. Johnny stammered, trying to say Autumn was better overall since he really dug the fuck out of her dirty talk, but as far as technical skill, Celeste had that shit wrapped.

Johnny meant it, when he looked her in the eye and said, “Why would you WANT to be better than her at it, Autumn? That’s not necessarily a good thing. Sam’s a lucky guy and you shouldn’t be here. You don’t need to be competitive with your sister about everything, at least not on this.”

Autumn on Her KneesBut of course she did. Autumn thanked Johnny, kissed him on the cheek, then grabbed her purse from the counter and was out the door. Johnny ran to the bathroom, washed his dick, and was slamming the screen door a moment behind her.

It was a miracle he’d managed to make so much mayo for Celeste, and as fast as he had.

Johnny pulled into the school parking lot, thankful to be there. Kids always put things in perspective. Johnny wasn’t sure he wanted to do it full time, it was high maintenance for little pay. He figured he would make his money as an entrepreneur. He had a ton of good ideas, maybe great, and had managed to always have enough money for whatever he needed, ever since he was thirteen or so. Working as an aid at the school was the first real job Johnny had landed. He knew the fat stacks in his life wouldn’t come from a steady 9-5, but his parents wanted him to have a teaching credential to fall back on, and working at the school helped him know what he was in for.

Johnny had expected to enjoy being around the kids, but hadn’t seen the inspiration coming. But the little fuckers were smart. And honest. Johnny loved their direct language; the way they would tell you straight to your face if they thought your shirt was ugly, rather than waiting until you walked away like most adults Johnny knew. It was one of the reasons he liked girls like Autumn and Celeste as much as he did — their words were true, even if filthy. It was only when you walked away when secrets got started.

Johnny liked the kids a lot more than Mrs. Grisham, the teacher he worked for. Grisham was approximately 1,000 pounds, although she would have slimmed to 650 or so if she lost the giant boil of apathy caked around her ankle.

Mrs. Grisham was a bitch who hated life. It wasn’t that she was fat, it was that she was a fat monster. Mrs. Moreno in the apartment across the hall from Johnny was bigger than Mrs. Grisham, but she knew how to smile. Which was why Johnny loved Mrs. Moreno. But Mrs. Grisham had probably abandoned both of her smiles years ago.

Johnny had only just realized, with a sudden shock of humiliated thunder a few days before, that Mrs. Grisham might be smelling the regular sex on him, and that could account for the extra dose of bitchy. He couldn’t smell it on himself, and wasn’t worried about the kids smelling anything since they wouldn’t have any context, but what if Grisham could?

He didn’t like the thought, though he figured it was probably paranoia.

“Did you have a nice morning off?” Mrs. Grisham said with a sneer.

“Sure did,” Johnny said. “My mom and I had tea.”

Johnny realized he sounded like an asshole, but figured it wasn’t his fault. He’d been playing nice since Day One, and Grisham had never budged from Team Bitchy.

“I hope you had oolong,” she said with one of her ugly puns you could smell a mile away, definitely more pungent than sex, “because you’re going to be grading spelling, math and comp for oooo long time.” She laughed, but not really, then said, “The piles are on the corner desk. Start wherever you like, finish everything before you leave.”

Grisham slothed over to her desk and Johnny went to his corner. Lunch ended a few minutes later and the kids poured into class, which made the room a million times brighter. Johnny kept his ears open for verbal gems. He was a collector and kids had some of the best ever. Johnny was an equal opportunity word guy. Sure, the dirty phrases made his dick hard, but a lot of the others made him smile.

Today was a dud, with the best comment coming from Gus who said, “Do buggers have to be green?” which was barely cute for a kindergartner. But again, the day was a relative desert. The day before was better. Micah described love as: When a man and a woman promise to go through sickness and illness and diseases and sometimes unhappiness together. A fair description, though Johnny was partial to Christian’s description two weeks earlier: When someone really likes freckles, so he goes out and finds someone with freckles. 

Maybe the best definition of love, or rather lust, he had ever heard.

Johnny was through the spelling and onto the comp when Ms. Kane from across the hall came through the door and walked straight to Grisham’s desk. Johnny liked Ms. Kane. She was older than Celeste, maybe even 40, but took damn good care of herself. Her hair and skin were both pretty, and her shape was near perfect. She looked like a sad version of Sandra Bullock. Johnny didn’t know too much of her story, but she was the only teacher whose classroom he’d seen without pictures of children or family. Or cats.

Ms. Kane turned from Grisham’s desk, smiled at Johnny, then left the classroom. He pointed his nose back at the papers as Grisham shot him a dirty look.

Johnny was on math, the final pile, when his phone buzzed and he pulled it from his pocket. A text from Celeste: No tomorrow. Please confirm. Will call later.

He texted back, OK.

If there had been an exclamation point, or several, Johnny would have been worried. A period meant something came up, or perhaps Celeste was sad from whatever had been pulling on her mind earlier. He was thinking about what he would do with the time, since he would be pulling another double the following day, when his phone buzzed again. Another text, this time from Autumn: What RU doing?

Johnny waited 15 minutes, then texted back: Working.

Three seconds later, Autumn again: What RU doing 2nite?

Johnny didn’t wait to text: No.

I’ll let you do things to me that might be illegal to text. 

Johnny had no idea what that meant, and was pretty sure Autumn didn’t either, but it was still hotter than fuck.

Buzz, buzz went the phone. Another text, from Autumn of course.

Learned new stuff. Love to practice. From Russian site. No words. Had to look at pictures. All day.

Johnny was pretty sure Autumn hadn’t been to a Russian site, or spent the day looking at pictures or learning anything new. But he was sure she wanted to be told she was better than her sister, and was probably willing to suck out every seed inside him until he did. But Johnny didn’t like getting on the train to Crazy Town, especially when he knew damn well how hard it was to get off. Besides, he’d already stayed on two stops too long.

Johnny ignored the next two texts, but couldn’t ignore the third:

Panties are still soaking from this morning. Gonna mail to you. Home or school?

Johnny scooped up his phone, quickly stood, then excused himself from the classroom. He could feel the blood rushing to his groin and didn’t want to get stuck behind the desk in class.

Johnny walked quickly to the parking lot and stepped in the car. He texted Autumn back: Can’t do this. You have Sam. 

Then Autumn: You have my sister. 

Johnny: I DON’T have your sister. 

Autumn: Me more temporary. Promise. I’ll swallow all your secrets. 🙂

Johnny: Okay, but not tonight. Have plans. 2morrow.

Autumn: Sam tomorrow. 2nite only. I’ll shampoo my cunt with your cum.

Johnny: See you 2nite.

Autumn: Check your email. 🙂

Johnny touched the icon for email and scrolled through a dozen or so gorgeous girls, all resembling Autumn in one way or another, and every one of them in some stage of cock swallow, from deep throat to dribble. The email had been sent from a dummy account, with the subject line: Can You Do This With Me?

The email’s only text said:

Those girls are all amateurs. I’ll get your cock hard enough to hammer nails, then soften it to liquid with a cockjob you’ll think about with every step you take for the next six weeks. And you can shoot your spunk wherever you like. My mouth and face are fine, but I’m sure your imagination is better than mine. 

shutterstock_156117755Johnny stared at the phone, wondering how he was going to deal with his new and unexpected problem. Not Autumn, that snafu was just another tally added to an existing fuck hole. The real problem was the evening he promised the cougar he’d been seeing every once in a while since late September the year before — the cougar who was about to get pissed as fuck he was canceling on her again.

He liked her, a lot actually, but things were so complicated with her situation, they made things with Celeste and Autumn seem downright normal.

Johnny slipped the phone back in his pocket and kneaded his temples, wondering how he would deal with his double booking, when it knocked on the window.

Johnny looked up, startled, then rolled down his window. “Hey, Ms. Kane,” he said.

“For the last time,” she said. “It’s Molly.”

“Sorry Molly,” Johnny looked down, picturing Autumn in his head.

“Are we still on for tonight?” she said, pouting. “You promised.”

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1 Comment

  1. Love it! Does it make me a bad person that I was hoping he was going to get the mean teacher lady? Perhaps I have an overactive smutmagination 🙂


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