I’m a starry-eyed girl who yearns for love, too.
But sometimes, I just want to fuck.
And if you’re like pretty much everyone I know, you probably do, too.
Even some of my best friends, swearing on a high stack of bibles, insist this isn’t true.
Yet, after a few glasses of wine, they’re always singing a different song.
Yes, sometimes you just want something inside you; a cock, a tongue, or your own fingers softening the peach.
Sex is a human need, and not admitting that naked truth dresses it in barbed wire, then wraps it around your entire life.
“We Are All Born Sexual Creatures, Thank God!” ~ Marilyn Monroe
In 2012, the human species is civilized about many things, and uncivilized about a remarkable number of others. But when it comes to sex, we have shit almost entirely backwards.
Homosexuals are depicted as frail or inferior, even though charging from the closet to tell your family and friends requires more personal courage than many of us will ever display.
Religious fundamentalists portray themselves as high-minded and right-thinking individuals, and yet they commit far more time and energy to sex obsession than an army of escorts, swingers and drag queens ever could.
We do it for fun, we do it to breed, we do it because it feels goddamn good.
So why do so many of us spend our lives pretending?
Because most of us have been raised to be ashamed.
When sex is bled onto the page, it is as potent, if not more so, than any other form of writing. Yet erotica has been vilified, cast to literature’s ghetto, and unfairly labeled as crass for the masses.
And while the recent glut of crap on “Spamazon” justifies some of this argument, .99 and free crap eBooks have only been around for the last few ticks of erotica’s hour.
This is most damaging to women. Men are visual, and they like to see titties bouncing us girls get banged from behind. And while I’m thrilled that more men are reading erotica than ever, quality smut makes a bigger difference in the average woman’s life.
For Women, Words Are the World’s BEST Aphrodisiacs
Yes, my pussy is one of my favorite erogenous zones, but I get wet from the ears down. My instincts are to release, listen to the whisper inside me, feel the cool sticky mess as it gathers at the apex of my inner upper thighs.
But I’ve been taught that this is something to be ashamed of, to distrust the power swelling from the depths of my more irrational, lurid thoughts. even though they excite me, make me feel alive, and when answered, HAPPY.
So why did I ignore my honest feelings for so long?
For the same reason as most people — the same reason that keeps many readers from reading erotica who might enjoy it otherwise — because they are scared of what others might think.
But this is ridiculous.
Language is powerful, and should always be embraced.
Words only have the power we give them. When it comes to language, it’s all about context. There are no bad words.
Certain words will get you off because language is a mainline to our mind. This is why a shocking number of women, and some men, read and enjoy erotica. The genre ranges from tame phrasing such as, “he placed his member against her swollen mound,” to the escalating drama of “he shoved his throbbing cock into her sopping wet cunt.”
To each his own.
I’ll always prefer the second because it’s more honest, and therefore gets me a helluva lot wetter. I’ve never screamed for anyone to do anything to my mound. Neither have you, and neither did the writer who put those disingenuous words on the page.
Softened language is there to make the writer, reader, and publisher feel safe. Yet, with one of the holy trinity removed, the erotica market’s grown more honest.
(More on that in a minute.)
Erotica is mostly about having sex, not having children. For many readers, life is the opposite.
You can substitute children for banality, work, frustration, fatigue, boredom, or anything else that keeps a reader from feeling as though they are living their most exciting life.
Erotica Readers Are Looking For More From Life
Readers buy erotic fiction to live out their sexual fantasies, the sort of fantasies they’re too nervous to ask their real-life partner about. This is why the language, setting, dialogue and tone are all essential to an effective bit of erotica.
Storytelling is essential to a happy human psyche. Well written erotica offers what the reader can’t get in real life. It is fantastic, amazing, a stylized, hyper reality.
Great fiction must inhabit a world that offers more than the real one. A well told story must illuminate something new, potential or possibilities or anything that expands the mind of the reader or opens the window to their soul, where the whispers in the dark and the voices you don’t always allow yourself to hear are suddenly bright; loud and ringing with truth.
It is there where you can stare in the mirror at the person a part of you has always wanted to be.
For too long, this truth has been locked away from too many women.
Fortunately, the world is changing. And Amazon, more than anyone else, is helping to change it.
Erotica is BOOMING, thanks to the Kindle and other eReaders. Sales of erotic novels have soared by over 30%, as readers swap paper and ink for digital downloads.
Downloading smut is surging in popularity largely because of the anonymity of a download, versus the blush that comes while waiting for change. The Kindle is portable, so no-one can see what you’re reading. The digital brown bag means you can now read erotica wherever you are, without fear of embarrassment.
Beyond the anonymity, Kindle has also kicked open the doors for indie-authors like me. Now anyone with a keyboard and an Amazon account can express themselves, which means those digital brown bags can get fatter than curious readers ever imagined, and for far fewer dollars.
Yes, there’s a massive amount of garbage on Amazon. But that’s because publishing is in transition. Because anyone can do it, many who shouldn’t are doing it anyway. And while this clutters the channel, consumers aren’t stupid and it won’t last for long.
Cream Always Rises to the Top
My readers are smart, and more will continue to find me. They appreciate well written work, which is the only kind I write.
The seemingly endless sea of free erotica on Amazon is mostly a good thing, at least for now. It gives both readers and writers a chance. The runaway success of Shades of Grey, a prime example of a niche title finding a mass audience, proves the point better than any other title out there.
Despite it’s groundbreaking climb to the NY Times Bestseller List, and the glossy front of Entertainment Weekly, the title doesn’t cover new territory. Shades of Grey started out as fan fiction, re-imagining the world of Twilight with scenes of BDSM (Bondage, Domination, Sadism and Masochism).
What Shades of Grey has done, and why I woke up thanking the book this morning (like I have each morning for a year), is swung open the doors to “mommy porn,” and given writers like me a better chance at getting found.
The first “romance” I read was Anne Rice’s “East of Eden,” in 6th grade. I read the Sleeping Beauty series shortly after that.
I remember reading for hours; wide-eyed, red-faced and sticky.
I quickly moved into Harlequin titles. I never stopped and I’m not alone. Harlequin books have sold over 45 million copies worldwide. Fuck Random House — Harlequin is one of the most profitable publishing companies anywhere, with hundreds of millions in sales per year.
Yet, this massive success is treated as an anomaly, and the world at large acts as though women reading porn is somehow superior to men watching it. Shades of Grey opens the door and gives the western world the easy excuse it’s been looking for.
After all, those aren’t tits on the cover, it’s a tie.
Shades of Grey isn’t mommy porn, it’s gateway smut.
Experience defines us. I’ve been watching with interest for a while, but it took me until early this year to finally gather my courage.
I was a professional copywriter at a large marketing firm, but fiction sits in my sweet spot (at least the sweet spot I don’t have to clean). In January of 2012, I finally tried my hand at what I saw as a quickly growing market, as well as a way to grow myself.
The Erotica Must be Working. I’ve Never Been Happier
Copywriting is about keeping the readers on the page; fiction is about making them care. Use these two skills as the bread, and the sex in between makes a helluva sandwich.
Erotica is about sex, but it’s more than that, too. Done well, it’s about the feelings and psychology that go along with it. It’s the details that are most important.
Two people fucking is insipid. Like any story, readers want the who, what, when, were and why. Bonus points for how. Readers want real characters living real lives.
Like a perfect piece of music, it isn’t the notes that still your heart, it’s the pregnant breath between them.
I’m an author without borders. I write fantastic erotica for eager readers, or “smut for smart people,” as I like to call it. I start in your head and work my way down.
As much as I love reading well written smut, I love writing it more. It nurtures the part of my brain that loves to smell garlic searing or hear the crackle of a fire.
Erotica arouses the senses and stimulates desires. If there’s something wrong with that, I’d love to know why no one has a problem with perfume.
These are the feelings I aim to bring out in my readers. I endeavor to write quality smut, and I’m proud that I do.
I’ve had more emails than I can count, most from readers thanking me for improving their sex lives through the power of words.
I love language, and have a desire to make people feel. I want my readers to have better sex lives, be more in touch with themselves, and live life as more confident, happier people.
But this only works once you stop being afraid of language, and spend your time enjoying the dirty words, rather than hanging on those that serve to dim your ability to make them work for you.
Obviously, I love the dirty words, and love to put them in the mouths of my characters. Autumn Cole, from my Talking Dirty series is probably my favorite character to write. In the first short story I ever wrote for Talking Dirty, Autumn is announcing to her boyfriend, Sam, that she plans to start writing erotica. He doesn’t like the idea.
“Why do you have to talk dirty?”
“Because it makes girls glisten and guys wanna glob a blob from their bottom basher. Because I love making people feel, and there’s no better place to make people feel than the place where they came from. It doesn’t matter if you’re eating from a trashcan or planning a party for the Duke of Fancypants, you were born from baby batter, shot from a cock, then dropped from a spreadeagled pussy nine months later.”
“Jesus Christ, Autumn.”
“I’m not trying to be insensitive. Maybe I’ll get dainty after I pop out a couple of kids. But I sure hope the fuck not. This world is too uptight already without me putting on the uniform and marching in step. Sex is sex. We all do it, or wish we could do it a whole hell of a lot more than we do. Unless your dead inside. And if you’re dead inside, you may as well be dead on the outside, too. If more people acknowledged sex as the human need it is, instead of the sin it isn’t, the world would be a much better place, even if it was a little stickier. If I’m great at my job, readers will want to fuck their partner’s faces off. Because that’s part of what life is about.”
Love is chemistry, and sex is physics. Sometimes, people just want to fuck.
We do it for fun, we do it to breed, and we do it because it feels so goddamn good.
So stop pretending, and start living more of your life with a smile.
[box]If this post spoke to you, I need your help. 100% of my income comes from my words. That means I should be writing books (and that this post cost me money). If people are reading them, then I’m very happy, and would love to publish a new post like this each week. That’s where I need your help. Please share this post by clicking on any of the colorful buttons below and to your right. Don’t forget to use the email button — if you think this post will make a difference to someone you know, it probably will.[/box]
[author] [author_image timthumb=’on’]http://www.leximaxxwell.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/Lexi-Avatar-Clipped.jpg[/author_image] [author_info]Lexi Maxxwell writes to make you FEEL or THINK. Her stories are hardcore and character driven. Nothing makes her hotter, wetter, or more electric than imagining you enjoying her work.[/author_info] [/author]